Life wheel showing current progress and future aspirations across career, family, friendships, health, learning, community, renewal, and adventure.

How to Increase the Odds of Leading a Fulfilled Life

Work can provide deep satisfaction and contribute to a fulfilled life. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi describes “flow” as a state of absorption in an activity that challenges our abilities. We may experience it when our minds or bodies are stretched in pursuit of something difficult and worthwhile.

But satisfaction in one pursuit does not necessarily add up to a fulfilled life. That depends also on what else receives time and attention.

My longtime executive coach, Dr. Dory Hollander, author of The Doom Loop System, offered advice that has stayed with me: “Act intentionally. Persist variously.” I understood her point to be about choosing what to work on and sustaining meaningful pursuits across the different dimensions of a life.

When in a state of such exertion and accomplishment, there is a sense of pride and fulfillment that is both pleasurable and addictive.  Some who experience flow when climbing mountains scale a peak only to start preparing to climb the next even before leaving the summit and are doomed to repeat the experience over and over in a never-ending quest to bag the ultimate peak.

Many find something similar in their work lives when they lose themselves in a strong-minded pursuit of one single, all-consuming work goal after another, much like the mountain climber in search of the perfect peak.

A consuming pursuit can make decisions about time seem simple: whenever competing demands arise, the main quest wins. That may be appropriate for a season: a period when particular circumstances, responsibilities, or opportunities warrant concentrated attention. A season might last weeks, months, or years, such as while completing a major project, raising young children, caring for a parent, or recovering from illness. Financial necessity, family responsibilities, or an important opportunity can warrant concentrated effort.

The risk comes when that priority becomes automatic. Success in one area may come at an unexamined cost to relationships, health, or other interests. We can become accomplished without having chosen the life our accomplishments produce.

Work deserves a place in a fulfilled life. So do the other people and pursuits that matter to us. The question is which deserve our attention now, and which need enough care to remain healthy while our main effort goes elsewhere.

A more enlightened approach is to view work and work goals as important, but only as one dimension of a multifaceted life.  Those who climb mountains, for example, might always look forward to the next climb but also have goals and aspirations along other lines including family, school, civic, social, sports, and so on.

A Life Wheel offers a way to see the different dimensions of life together: work, family, friendships, health, community, learning, recreation, and whatever else matters to you. Think of these as a portfolio of pursuits whose relative importance changes over time.

The aim is not to give every dimension equal time. It is to choose where to concentrate your effort while giving the others the care they need. A demanding season at work need not mean abandoning health or relationships. It does mean making deliberate choices about what you can sustain.

Some pursuits benefit from goals and milestones. Others call for presence, care, curiosity, or simple enjoyment. A fulfilled life has room for both accomplishment and experiences that need no measurable result.

To put this into practice:

  • Identify the people and pursuits that matter to you.
  • Choose one or two pursuits for concentrated effort in the current season.
  • Decide what progress or meaningful participation would look like in each.
  • Identify the time, skills, resources, and support you need.
  • Give other important dimensions enough attention to sustain them.
  • Review your choices periodically. Shift emphasis as circumstances, interests, and responsibilities change.

Dory’s advice captures the practice in four words:

“Act intentionally. Persist variously.”
— Dr. Dory Hollander, as she shared it with me

Choose what deserves your effort. Pursue it with commitment. Over time, give different dimensions of your life their turn at the center of your attention.